If you are a woman that dreams of a man who will worship you — who will feed you strawberries as you lie naked on satin sheets and massage your skin with scented oil as he dusts a feather up and down your body, then read on. If you are a man who wants to deepen your sexual pleasure and improve your love relationship (which includes having more sex) then tantric sex might be for you.

What is it?

The word tantra means a tool for expansion. The heart of tantric sex is learning to see your lover as truly divine and holy. During lovemaking the five senses are engaged and an intimate connection is created between lovers using breath, meditation, and body positions. The tantric sexual experience engages the body as a whole instead of focussing exclusively on exciting the genitals in order to achieve orgasm. Not that orgasm is left out of tantric sex—many participants describe the orgasms they experience, after connecting in such an intimate way with their partner, as bliss. In fact tantra teaches that harnessing one’s desire and using the energy of sexual arousal can lead to self-realization and enlightenment. Sex as a path to enlightenment—certainly sounds better than fasting and selling your worldly possessions!

Tantric Sex

There is openness, a revealing of oneself within tantric sex, which can feel a little threatening if you’ve been raised with the idea that sex is a physical activity with a goal in mind. So it may work best if the ideas and exercises are introduced slowly, with a sense of excitement and anticipation that are sure to peak your partner’s curiosity. There are some common elements — for instance one central tantric ritual includes these five items, alcohol, meat, fish, kidney beans and ritual intercourse. Aside from the kidney beans that doesn’t sound much different than our western view of a date, so how hard could it be to incorporate these erotic foreign practices into your usual bedroom routine? Not hard at all, here’s where to start.

• Create a “love space” that is comfortable, playful and relaxed. Clean the room of miscellaneous clutter. Decorate with fabrics, pictures, candles, flowers, stones, or anything else that creates a sensual space. Music sets the mood so find some in advance that you both like. Scent the room with essential oils like ylang-ylang, rose, jasmine or other erotic aromas. Make sure your bed is inviting with many pillows to assist in various love positions.

• Clear your mind. In order to relax it’s important to rid your mind of busy thoughts, which can be done by doing a conscious breath exercise. Inhale slowly, hold your breath for several seconds, then exhale slowly, and pause before the next inhalation. Do this until you feel relaxed. Another way to relax is through shake dancing. Turn on wild, rhythmic music and shake each part of your body until you feel the tension release then slow the shaking down until you are still.

• Connecting with each other is more important than anything else you will learn from tantric sex. Before beginning any exercise it is a customary ritual to great each other with a namaste. Place your hands in prayer position in front of your chest then bow slightly to each other saying, “namaste,” which means “I honor you as an aspect of God.” Then sit naked across from each other with legs in a loose cross-legged position. Look into each other’s eyes without saying anything. Let any thoughts you have fall from your mind. Focus on looking into your lover and opening your heart. Try to synchronize your breath, inhaling and exhaling at the same pace. The man usually follows the pace of the woman’s breath.

Love Exercises

If you liked creating a “love space” and the feeling of connecting on a heart level you’re ready to move on. It is important that both partners decide to take this journey together. If one or the other feels pressured the fundamental connection necessary for tantric sex will not be possible. In the beginning you may want to assure each other that your usual tried and true methods of sexual pleasure are not being thrown out the window to be replaced with this new form of sex. Tantric sex can be an addition — a way to improve your relationship and to be more sensually aware of each other’s bodies — adding zest to your lovemaking. Or perhaps it will be the beginning of a new spiritual quest in your relationship.

• Connecting the breath and chakras. Chakras are seven concentrations of energy centers in the body that run from the base of the spine up to the top of the head. This exercise introduces the tantric technique of imagining your breath as it climbs from the base chakra up to the heart chakra. Sit across from each other in loose cross-legged position with a straight back. Put your right hand on your heart and your left hand on your genitals. As you inhale imagine your breath entering your body through your genitals, breathing energy upward toward your heart. Pause at the end of the breath before exhaling imagining the breath as it drops down the body and exits through the genitals. After practicing this breath at your own pace try breathing together using your right hand to show the process of the breath moving up and down.

• Sitting in yab-yom position — the man sits in an open cross-legged position and the woman sits on the man’s lap and wraps her legs around his waist. Pillows can be used under the woman’s buttocks to support her weight, also pillows supporting the man’s legs and hips if necessary. You are going to practice the same breath as the previous exercise but this time the woman will inhale imagining the breath coming in through her genitals and then exhales imagining the breath going out through the heart, sending the energy to her partner. The man then inhales (as the woman is exhaling) breathing the energy in through his heart and out through his genitals. Once you are familiar with this breathing sequence you may want to physically connect the genitals, which is usually initiated by the woman inviting the man to enter her. Practice breathing in this still position for a while. Then breath together tilting your hips forward as you both inhale and tilting your hips backwards as you exhale.

Source: http://completemom.com